Time to say goodbye
Tomorrow will be my last day in Germany. There are so many little things I could write about, but I probably will do so after my return to NYC. I did not even plan to write something for the blog tonight, but when I tried to call Lisa, she asked me to call her back in 15 minutes because she was busy at work. So I now use my time to write some lines for the blog.
In a way it is strange to have again the time difference phone calls, the limited possibilities to communicate with each other, and the separated lives we used to have, knowing that this is not the 'reality' but just an interruption of every day life. And even if everything here seems to be the 'real' part of me and my every day life, the real every day life is in New York. Does it make sense what I write?
In any case, I am happy and sad. I am happy to be with my family and friends, to be home, to eat German bread, to go to a soccer game, to... you get the point, but I am sad because I am not with Lisa. And a few hours ago I said goodbye to my sister and she started crying, and then my mother had tears in her eyes and I was very sad because it became clear that I am leaving very soon. And it is not even that we had so many great conversations, spend so much quality time with each other etc, but more the feeling that we will be so far from each other with an uncertainty when we will see each other again.
When I was living in Brussels it was the same mixture of sadness and happiness, but this time I was separated from Lisa. Every time we were together it was magic, 'heaven on earth' and then there was the knowledge that we will be separated again.
This time, when I left Lisa last week in Greenpoint, I was not sad to leave her because I knew that this is now my reality, my life and my home. It is a great feeling to spend your life with your best friend, the love of your life and with someone who is a part of you. But at the same time it is sometimes not easy to be so far from your family, even if I am very sure that I see them very soon again.
To make a long story short: Why is this world not smaller? Or why can't we trade New Jersey for Muenster? Wouldn't this make this world a better place?
I guess my 15 minutes are over, and so is this entry.
In a way it is strange to have again the time difference phone calls, the limited possibilities to communicate with each other, and the separated lives we used to have, knowing that this is not the 'reality' but just an interruption of every day life. And even if everything here seems to be the 'real' part of me and my every day life, the real every day life is in New York. Does it make sense what I write?
In any case, I am happy and sad. I am happy to be with my family and friends, to be home, to eat German bread, to go to a soccer game, to... you get the point, but I am sad because I am not with Lisa. And a few hours ago I said goodbye to my sister and she started crying, and then my mother had tears in her eyes and I was very sad because it became clear that I am leaving very soon. And it is not even that we had so many great conversations, spend so much quality time with each other etc, but more the feeling that we will be so far from each other with an uncertainty when we will see each other again.
When I was living in Brussels it was the same mixture of sadness and happiness, but this time I was separated from Lisa. Every time we were together it was magic, 'heaven on earth' and then there was the knowledge that we will be separated again.
This time, when I left Lisa last week in Greenpoint, I was not sad to leave her because I knew that this is now my reality, my life and my home. It is a great feeling to spend your life with your best friend, the love of your life and with someone who is a part of you. But at the same time it is sometimes not easy to be so far from your family, even if I am very sure that I see them very soon again.
To make a long story short: Why is this world not smaller? Or why can't we trade New Jersey for Muenster? Wouldn't this make this world a better place?
I guess my 15 minutes are over, and so is this entry.
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